For some crazy reason Yngwie Malmsteen's new album has someone twenty years younger and thirty pounds lighter on the cover. Is this his son?
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Thursday, November 6, 2008
Yngwie Malmsteen: Perpetual Lame
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43 comments:
mmm I could be the first!
If we flip the image backwards like we play the record backwards we may see something else!
If it is his son, someone might want to tell him that his hand's on fire.
DUDE, YOUR HAND IS ON FIRE!
Hello? Is this thing even on?
Or is Yngwie's son just deaf from years of listening to his dad's awesome guitar solo-ing?
That's totally normal! Celebrities have reverse aging chambers now.
THERES A HOLE IN THE SKY BUT DONT ASK ME WHY CAUSE I DOOOOHOHOHONT KNOWHOEHOE
There's a square of lighter skin on his torso. Any explanation for that? Badly brushed out tattoo or scar???
That square of lighter skin looks like an accident with a depilatory of some kind. The hair just ain't there. Truly a disaster of lazy proportions.
I saw him live two years ago just for the novelty of it, and despite his technical ability, I've NEVER been more bored at a concert. There was nothing musical about it.
From the Wikipedia entry on Heavy Metal Music, discussing the need for authenticity in a performer:
The metal scene has been characterized as a "subculture of alienation", with its own code of authenticity. This code puts several demands on performers: they must appear both completely devoted to their music and loyal to the subculture that supports it; they must appear disinterested in mainstream appeal and radio hits; and they must never “sell out”. For the fans themselves, the code promotes “opposition to established authority, and separateness from the rest of society.” Scholars of metal have noted the tendency of fans to classify and reject some performers (and some other fans) as "poseurs" "who pretended to be part of the subculture, but who were deemed to lack authenticity and sincerity."
It appears that Yngwe Malmsteen has jumped the shark.
Yngwie wasn't that good even back when he was good, but I do love how his name is HUGE on the cover while his band's name is minescule. I also love that he's still doing that 80's "look how pouty I can be" look. Hey, Yngwie -- the metal folks never liked the androgynous look even when everyone else did. Hang it up!
Makes perfect sense. Rock stars are never affected my aging.
Is that Blue Steel or Le Tigre?
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article5101905.ece
KimJongIl shopped (pullin a Weekend At Bernie's!)
maybe if i use 'shopped cables i'd be as good as yngwie..
Hahahahaha!
That's the true magic of Photoshop!
I also love how the font that is used for the album title is Evanescence's font.
I'm not sure if Evanescence originated the script or if it was floating around before them, but regardless, that font is synonymous with Evanescence.
Lost originality points there.
LOL, what a good choice of picture of his real self to compare that cover to.
Yngwie doing Blue Steel!
Poor guy.
Pearl
You know, this might not be a recent image. Here is what he looked like 20 years ago -- could be the same photo shoot.
The photoshop job is almost as bad as the design.
The music however, is much worse than both.
Yngwie (friendly known here in Spain as "sueco gordo cabrón") is using the same portrait since 1986 or so...
Excuse me sir but errr your hand is on fire...
Im not fat Im Yngvie!
I think you're making too much of an assumption that Yngwie could possibly have a son, unless women love to marry an ugly, boring guy.
wow~~
looks like he started a wax on his torso! that may be why he's going "oooo!"
or he could just be saying "ooo this cover is baaaad!"
either way the man's a muppet.
Here's the right album:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ocLjbdR2Hzw/SOfNxxShYDI/AAAAAAAAEOk/iEAoPpAPFsA/s1600-h/jonoyngwielargens3.jpg
The "Gray" in "Dorian Gray" is supposed to be spelled with an "a". (About the post's label.)
Where are the umlauts?
The pic onthe right is clearly Jack Black just pretending to be Yngwie. Or should I say Ÿñġŵïë.
This isn't a photoshop disaster... this is photoshop mastery!!! haha
Aw, headline opportunity missed: "Yngwie Malmsteen's Rising Face"...
Yngwie's music is what some of my friends call "jacking your guitar off".
it has some sort of "Ricky Martin-filter", I wonder where lies that option in Photoshop...
Yngwie is cool. What a creative idea and age does not affect rockstar.
Regards,
Anime
FOREVER YOUNG, LIKE THE SONG FROM ALPHAVILLE.
WHO DOESN'T LIKE ROCK?
Wait, he dropped the "J."? Maybe this is a different Yngwie Malmsteen.
Funny how the folks leaving comments have never accomplished as much as Yngwie, and never will. Not enough time left in your mediocre life.
Like or hate him, he get things done and has inspired millions of people globally over the last 20 years. He's spawned whole new genres of music.
Hey.. I saw SPINAL TAP.. that was a good movie.
I just saw Yngwie (and he's more amazing than ever!) last month. He really doesn't look nearly as bad as the second photo makes him look; that's a terrible shot. Of course, I have no idea why the album cover is just...not him. No one goes to see him for his looks; they go for 3 solid hours of virtuoso Paganini except on guitar.
He is married, but I don't think he has any children. I highly recommend the DVD of his performance of original classical compositions with the Japan Philharmonic - it's hard to find though; and it's all in Japanese.
Not only Photoshop Disaster, but Typeface Disaster too: they used some free font inspired by Evanescence's logo. Lame.
Perfect album Yngwie Malmsteen....back again..
Hey! Yngwie Malmsteen is Yngwie Malmsteen, he will look smooth as a baby and fresh as a cucumber in every photo. Besides, don't you know european metalheads never age?
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