Torchwood: Retractable Thumbs

Torchwood is a kind of diffusion TV show for people who find Doctor Who too authentic, involving some sort of undead robot space monsters on motorbikes theme. Of interest to us, on the other hand, is this warped faux ensemble. What is it with hands?

Thanks to Marietta! Original is here!

Oi.com: Army Girl

Most Photoshoppers have strategies to draw attention away from problem areas. For example, if I was retouching this I would have added huge flames to the mom's hair, so as to distract attention from her daughter's bizarre and unfeasibly long arms.

Thanks to Marcos! Original is here (possibly)!

PhotoHouse USA: Chapectomy

In a breathless deconstruction of the trite family self-portrait, USA PhotoHouse deftly excises the phallocentric father figure, leaving a single hand to signify - with profound semiotic irony - the hidden hand of capitalism. The camera is bereft of any screen or viewfinder in a de facto refutation of the omnipresent panopticon of male gaze, while the child points aimlessly out of the savaged image in a cathartic denunciation of the testosterone-poisoned concept of understanding directions. Marvellous.

Thanks to L!

Jimmy Bond: Artistic License To Kill

Mosht people would shay that Timothy Dalton wash never a clashic Bond. Better perhapsh than Lazshenby, but I have to shay he never desherved thish. It looksh ash though he'sh just shat on shomething shticky or shomething. And look at hish bird! She'sh got no bloody legsh!

Thanksh to JG! Original ish here!

Hong Kong: Amazing New Camera Phone

Of course to be complete, this image would include the ad's photographer, Thomas (who took this photograph and sent it in) and someone photographing him. (It makes sense if you don't think about it.)

Whitney: I Don't Know Her So Well

In the heartbreaking competition to be the saddest aspect of this whole thing, the imbecilic idea that female vocalists should always look like supermodels slightly edges out the profoundly tragic likelihood that Whitney believes this is a plausible representation of herself. In third place: the body's real owner probably has this in her portfolio.

Edit: Yes, it's a hoax.

Thanks to Jake! More discussion here.

Anane: Thighly Unusual

This brings back fond memories of being nine years old and not really knowing what went on where under women's skirts. So the moral of the story is, don't hire a nine-year old to retouch your sexy portrait.

Thanks to Jeff! Original is here.

Sony Style: Homo Simpson Walks Among Us

I like to think that in the original image she was flipping the bird at the people behind her.

Thanks to Limezor!

Grazia: The Kate Moss Chapectomy

chap-ec-tomy

[tchap-ek-tuh-mee]

–noun, plural -mies. Photoshoppery.
excision of extraneous male[s] in a photograph of a model.
Origin: 1990–95; CHAP+ -ectomy

See also: de-bloke, sausage reduction protocol, ibid.

Found in Grazia magazine, November 3rd. Thanks to Jo!

Got Milk?

You know, you might want to step back and reconsider that edgy paint spatter effect when you're illustrating sports that involve a lot of grunting.

Thanks to Krystian! at the World Cyber Games in Cologne.

Birds Eye: Birds Hands

Lets just get this straight. You, Birds Eye, sell frozen food. You advertise this food with images that you produce. You employ designers and photographers. You have producers and models. You are a real company.

Frankly, most people would expect that creating a picture of a woman in a kitchen holding a plate of food would be within your competence.

Thanks to Current Resident!

Escape From New York: Shurely Shome Misnake?

There's nothing that quite says social disintegration like a giant, misshapen and dented head carelessly dumped in the streets of New York. Or, in this case, atop Kurt Russell's shoulders.

Props to Tyler!

Victoria's Secret: Airbrush Stuck At 100%

Remember that guy with the airbrush and how you were going to buy that van and he was going to do this really cool artwork all over it and it was going to be really cool with shagpile carpets and lava lamps and this special bubble window and even a TV and so you could watch Cheech and Chong videos?

Turns out he got a job with Victoria's Secret.

Thanks to Lingo!

Hanns: Probably Not Monitoring The Situation

As you may know, I get a lot of tips regarding reflections. The current vogue for shiny table reflections is, in a manner of speaking, a literal minefield for designers. So the hard and fast rule is absolutely no lousy reflection posts. No exceptions.

(Except for this monumental trainwreck, an ad in September's PC Magazine.)

Craigslist: It's Worth $2 Just For The Optimism

Oh Craigslist, is there nothing you can't lowest common denominator?

Thanks to Brian! Original is here.

Russian Vogue: A Quantum Of So Lame

New Bond chick Olga Kurylenko turns up in Russian Vogue.

• "You've got to hand it to her!"
• "She's mostly armless"
• "She really went out on a limb!"
• "Forearm eyes only!"
• "Is it warm enough for short sleeves?"
  

(That's enough, James. Thanks to Cody!)

Yngwie Malmsteen: Perpetual Lame

For some crazy reason Yngwie Malmsteen's new album has someone twenty years younger and thirty pounds lighter on the cover. Is this his son?

Some magazine: Thigh Anxiety

PsD's superb technical analysis and research department has something of a hangover today, so please enjoy this mystery magazine clipping courtesy of Lau!

The Times: Toffee Nosed Stalinists

The Times was kind enough to link to PsD recently. Naturally, we return the compliment with this curious example of Kremlinesque revisionism in a story about a bunch of inbred social parasites the aristocrats!

Thanks to C!

EW: Roseanne's Eating Disorder

Entertainment Weakly (October 31 issue) has an unintentionally spoooooooky extra floating plate in the Roseanne pictorial. Props to TheArtist!

Tipsters: I apologize for the current backlog. Please rest assured that your submission will be ignored as soon as I can get to it.