Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Garderoba: Jessica Rabbit!


The one thing that I regret about writing this blog is the sense that I am being impolite by not being able to reply personally to the very large amount of email you morons readers send in. I get around 100-200 tips per day, which means that if I spend an average of thirty seconds checking out each tip and then thirty seconds writing a reply then I would be spending approximately one thousand hours 3 hours, 20 minutes per day answering mail.

As you might imagine, a significant proportion of this email concerns Polish lingerie sites, which as a rule I ignore. However, every rule has lots of exceptions; this one is just too bad to let slip by.

Thanks to Pozdrawiam! Radek! Original is here!

60 comments:

tim maguire said...

Maybe they don't have rib cages in Poland.

Rodrigo said...

some people just don't know when to stop.

and some don't know how to draw boobies.

some don't know both.

hmmm said...

"Pozdrawiam!" is a "All the Best" or "Best" left at the end of the email, not a nick of a sender, lol.

Błażej said...

Pozdrawiam! is just Best regards! in polish :)

lillianb said...

photoshop disaster: math disaster.

one minute (30 seconds checking out, 30 seconds replying) x 100 (to 200) = 100 to 200 minutes. or 1 hour, 40 minutes to 3 hours, 20 minutes.

just saying...
:)

(keep up the blog, though...just maybe not the math?)

softbones said...

Thanks for calling us morons. We're just you readers, no big deal.

softbones said...

@lillianb
Ha I'm pretty sure he was joking. There can't be 1000hrs/day after all.

Deaf Indian Muslim Anarchist! said...

hahahaha... this is the funniest, worst Photoshopped boobs I have seen. HILARIOUS

Guánder Guóman! said...

I don't see anything wrong with her boobs! My boobs look like that!





(?)

Henri Stosch said...

My girlfriend just looks like this!

Galadriel said...

Obviously, she's had ribs removed for appearance's sake. And had some tattooing done to enhance the appearance of her boobs.

No PD here, nooooo.

softbones said...

lol I can't believe you read our comments

word ver: nessesst

wtf

Erica said...

My favorite part is her painted on cleavage that's not centered with her painted on stomach. nice touch!

loopyloo said...

Isn't this the advert for the new Sims 3? She certainly looks computer generated, see her left arm even has clone stamp lines.

mariamousie1 said...

That's the best barbie doll I've ever seen!

Maaike Hartjes said...

Check out the photoshopped 'Mansoon Wind bikini', on the 2nd page of the link, it's even worse! Oh well, actually that whole site is PSD heaven.

Szymon vel Ulezalka said...

they look fine for me :~

Spike said...

Maaike is right,
www.garderoba.pl/zdjecia/duze/4139.jpg is even more hilarious.

defranco said...

You problem is that you are absolutely nothing without us morons.

Waldobaby said...

Finally SOMEBODY appreciates a moron for what a moron is! Props accepted.

AL said...

so? she's an android!

Waldobaby said...

@Maaike Hartjes:

The pic at http://www.garderoba.pl/site/podglad_zdjecia.php?rozszerzenie=.jpg&id=4139&rodzaj=max is not PhotoShop. It's Walmart scissors.

jimkeller24 said...

I quote the Dresden Dolls - "made of plastic and elastic"...

Or rather Aqua? "I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world, life in plastic, it's fantastic"...

Steve said...

Body by Poser.

Kitty said...

Maybe she was homeschooled?

Oh, and a nice fat "LOL" at everyone "insulted" by the moron jab. If you read this blog you need to bring one thing... a sense of humor and the ability not to take yourself so damn seriously.

softbones said...

@Kitty...I was kidding
:/
Jesus

polo200 said...

That one is bad too IMO !
http://www.garderoba.pl/zdjecia/duze/4084.jpg

Wendy said...

One mediocre PSD 'artist' is way cheaper than actual photo shoots, I guess.

Wendy said...

Re:
www.garderoba.pl/zdjecia/duze/4139.jpg

HOLY CRAP. The wrong picture got put on the site. Yikes!!

wv: ackings
'We ackings these girls to pieces!'

Alexandra said...

Re:
www.garderoba.pl/zdjecia/duze/4139.jpg

My god, her breast just popped! Call an ambulance!

The Mushroom said...

re: www.garderoba.pl/zdjecia/duze/4139.jpg

Holy shiz! That is > than today's.

But as for today's... I wonder if she squeaks when her chest is rubbed, they look so plastic-like.

verification word: uladia
which is probably the model's name

David said...

Re: www.garderoba.pl/zdjecia/duze/4139.jpg

If you make your eyes go out of focus and look beyond the image, you can see a 3D dolphin leaping out of the sea.

goocy said...

Have you already taken a closer look at the shadier side of her bikini bottom? Looks a bit uncomplete to me...

Kurios said...

http://www.garderoba.pl/zdjecia/duze/4001.jpg

Dear god why.

melanie m said...

Kitty, I disagree re: the "moron" thing. The caption on this blog was snarky to us, not the photoshoppers… and complaining that we send too many tips? Sorry we're trying to help. Unsubscribing!

Miranda said...

We do not like real female bodies here! We will just erase them and draw in fake ones!

sigh. dingbats. *suppresses rant about misogynistic fashion industry*

Lisa said...

You're seriously humorless, Melanie M.

Miranda said...

People who don't have a sense of humor and can't take a little ribbing can totally go ahead and unsubscribe!

Durr hurrr lalalalala *dances around with fruit basket on head*

morgedoid said...

Oh, c'mon! There's nothing wrong with her plastic belly!

morgedoid said...
This post has been removed by the author.
Picturefriendly said...

There is sooo much that is wrong with the original page... I have no words.

morgedoid said...

And this transparency is a disaster too :

http://www.garderoba.pl/site/podglad_zdjecia.php?rozszerzenie=.jpg&id=2892&rodzaj=max

how could they do that?? ;)

Robert Patrick said...

I don't get it, shouldn't you be PRAISING the guy for a GREAT Photoshop job ?
Don't you see he perfectly adjusted that real head on a fake body from Second life ?

Bob said...

Thanks for the explanation about the amount of mail you receive, eddie. I just thought you had something against me!

Sam said...

You're right, goocy.

Her bikini bottom is incomplete towards the right side, near her bag.

& www.garderoba.pl/zdjecia/duze/4139.jpg is massive fail.

All the lingerie look like they were photoshopped onto stock photos of models. Check out the edge of the bikini top near under her left arm & the elastic waist of the bikini bottom. They don't look naturally worn.

ZaphodQB said...

goodbye melanie m,

You won't be missed.

Bartek said...

You can click on "reply to all". 30 seconds! Done! Now you can thank me *personally* for that tip.

luki69 said...

Re:
http://www.garderoba.pl/zdjecia/duze/4001.jpg

OMFG! What a crap...

oriza,a nyul said...

It must be the hidden advertising for sims 3, I agree with someone before. First time girls won't have inferiority complex thumbing swimsuit-catalog.

Ash said...

@Kitty: That's two things.


Hehe.

MonicaKoenig said...
This post has been removed by the author.
Howard said...

Miranda,

Perhaps the model in the photo could do with a little ribbing...

Jesus~Freak said...

is she real?

Christian said...

"Maths", not "math". How silly.

sTeFaNnIe said...

His this a drawing?!

My god!
This IS a disaster on such manu levels
I wanna trow up

sTeFaNnIe said...

http://www.garderoba.pl/site/podglad_zdjecia.php?rozszerzenie=.jpg&id=4139&rodzaj=max

and

http://www.garderoba.pl/site/podglad_zdjecia.php?rozszerzenie=.jpg&id=4139&rodzaj=max

They didn't even TRY to hide it.

sTeFaNnIe said...

http://www.garderoba.pl/site/podglad_zdjecia.php?rozszerzenie=.jpg&id=4139&rodzaj=max

LMAO! She got shit in her face!
Man!!!
WHat a crap job!

I'M speechless

bani said...

Speaking of mr Pozdrawiam I was reminded of this:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/northern_ireland/7899171.stm

delicious said...

buhahahaha Pozdrawiam ;D

viii said...

Funny, looks like a sim body.