Oprah: How To Make Your Own PsD

To: replacable_designer_72@oprahmagazine.com
From: oprah@oprahmagazine.com
Subject: slight tweak for cover

I love it! It's so wonderful. But can you remove the huge sandwich I'm eating and replace it with a hand of cards?

TIA,
O xxx

Thanks to everyone who set this in!

Rolex: Don't Do It

Chapter 3

Ana slipped on the $48 billion dollar watch and sensed the almost palpable sparkles of the gold and diamond. Without moving, she put her tennis bat behind her head and made a sexy expression at the photographer. She had made it to the top of the game - the game of Kings - and still no one had discovered her secret - that her arms were in fact made of wet noodle. She did her best low-grade-porn expression as the photographer clicked away, totally unaware that she had no bones in her arm and it was all floppy and stuff.

Original is here! Thanks to Lou!

Hanna Andersson: They're Called Fingers But I've Never Seen Them Fing

This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed at home, this little piggy had roast beef, this little piggy had none, this little piggy saw the two extra piggies and, wait, what?

Thanks to Claire!

Culani: We All Got Legless In Poland

As pedantile as this blog is, surely someone noticed that some people have legs.

Thanks to Diana!

The Knot: The Not

Bing! Your separation from reality is complete.

Thanks to Liz! Original is cached here; this is the site itself ^{[warning: annoying registration system]}

The Deal: Why SO SERIOUS?

No, let's make him smile even more! You can do that in Photoshop, just make him smilier. Much smilier. You know how William H. Macy is famous for smiling. He's a smile machine. Don't look at me like that, just go back to your desk and do it. Do it now.

Props to Ryan! Original is here!

MySpace: Why Try Harder When You're #0

<remark snideness="10" subject="MySpace">
<snark content="All the elegance of a diseased yak falling into a polluted swamp while listening to German pop music" />
<reservation thought="Well it is MySpace" />
</remark>

Thanks to Fernando!

Walmart: Triumph Of Command-V

Walmart - a deliberate reference to Andy Warhol - has successfully perpetuated and reinterpreted the American textual interface between low-brow consumer culture and high-brow academic art patronage without succumbing to the familiar eaten-by-giant-kittens fate that awaits most newcomers to the hallowed ranks of expressionist thought - a feat possibly achieved through Walmart's explosive and re-ifying use of neo-abstractian models of be-ing that transcend the banal subject matter and infuse it with an oscilloscope of peanut butter.

Thanks to Mary PP! Original is here!

CDiscount: IGNITION!

Apparently in France you can get discounts on CDs by lighting your farts. Brilliant!

Thanks to Orycterope!

Getty/CNN: Tails You Lose

Well, there could well be a fatality if they find out who did this.

Thanks to newyorksoccerbars.com! Original is here!

Brother: I Don't Think You're Seeing The Big Picture Much

Yeah. It's just that we're putting new coversheets on all the evil undead piecharts before they go out now. So I'd really appreciate it if you could just remember to do that, from now on. That'd be great.

Thanks to ark3!

BMW: Ghetto Spinners Come As Standard

Memo to BMW Art Dept: The wheels tend to stop spinning once you've parked the car and walked away.

Thanks to Christoph! Original is here!

Battlestar Galactica: Fracking Rack

I'm not entirely au fait with Battlestar Galactica, but it looks as though this montage has left Captain Data with a rather obvious interest in Princess Leia's bosom. Or is she a Cyclon? I can never remember. Beam me up, Spocky!

Thanks to Vishal! Original is here!

Girls Just Want To Have Their Heads Pasted On Adequately

This one is like shooting fish in a barrel, except with hand grenades.

Props to Amanda!

Motorola:Black Eyed Please

If you look carefully you'll see that Fergie actually does have a dried dog paw instead of a normal hand so YOU FAIL PsD (flounces out, slams door.)

Thanks to Paulo! Original is here!

Esquire: Instant Classic

The poor Hearst family. First that whole Symbionese Liberation Army thing, now this in Esquire.

Props to Marinus! Full story at From A Different Angle! (and from the horse's mouth in case you don't believe it.)

Ion Turntable: Minus Thirty Three And A Third

Under 30: Huh? What's wrong with it? Tchoh.
Over 30: Argh! Looking at that makes my teeth hurt!

Thanks to phytorx!

Blonde Ambition: I Love Your Jaundiced Fake Breasts

There is a great deal of Photoshop work that is simply bad. There are many ill-considered and incompetently executed images. There is so much artwork in the world that is carelessly, sloppily, inexcusably weak.

So I think you'll understand me when I say that it takes real courage for a designer to break through the morass of the merely abysmal to produce a work of monumental badness such as this. Truly a work o fart.

Thanks to MS! Bigger image here!

Left 4 Dead: Three Thumbs Up!

Bill: I'm gonna have peace on earth even if I have to murder every single one of these damn things with my own bare hands!
Louis: Yeah! That's what I'm talking about.
Bill: Damn straight!
Louis: Hahaha, Bill!
Bill: Hey Zoey how come you always have your hands in your pockets?
Zoey: Hey! More stairs!

Thanks to Jason, 7601 and everyone else who sent this in!

Juice: Freshly Squeezed

Is it entirely unreasonable to expect that a publication almost entirely dedicated to the appreciation of larger specimens of female buttocks should have some basic grasp of the fundamental anatomy of their domain?

Thanks to JAM!

Smackers: Heavily Armed

Market research says we need more inexplicably deformed arms in hammocks!

Thanks to Marisa!