Garderoba: Jessica Rabbit!

The one thing that I regret about writing this blog is the sense that I am being impolite by not being able to reply personally to the very large amount of email you morons readers send in. I get around 100-200 tips per day, which means that if I spend an average of thirty seconds checking out each tip and then thirty seconds writing a reply then I would be spending approximately one thousand hours 3 hours, 20 minutes per day answering mail.

As you might imagine, a significant proportion of this email concerns Polish lingerie sites, which as a rule I ignore. However, every rule has lots of exceptions; this one is just too bad to let slip by.

Thanks to Pozdrawiam! Radek! Original is here!

Maxim: Belly Good

I think this is super sexy, but I am also attracted to propane tanks.

Thanks to Gabbers! Original is here!

Lucky: Blendy, Masky And Airbrushy

Winner, unlikeliest neck of the year 2009.

Thanks to myke!

Bild: A Quick One Off The Wrist

Oi! Lefty! You're freaking the kids out!

Thanks to Schöpke! Original is here!

Samsung: 9NnSWVS

"OK everyone, let's make sure we get that reflection right so we don't end up on that stupid Photoshop Disasters blog!"

Thanks to Brian! Original is here!

Weird Al Yankovic: Facepalm

The weirdest thing about Weird Al Yankovic - here apparently portrayed by a much younger actor - is how you can still see his little hand behind his big hand.

Thanks to Eric! Original is here!^{[warning: Flash tedium]}

Freizeit Revue: I Don't See Anything Wrong With It

Hey good job removing that woman, though I think you missed a bit.

Thanks to Simon!

Audi: Will This Do?

So yeah like we were like doing the Flash for Audi and the old bag who's ADing this said get like a picture of some cool architecty house next to a winding country road and even though I spent over ten minutes looking for some stock I simply couldn't find like nothing man, nothing, so I thought hey I can just comp some cool geezer's house right in to any old pic, right? So I spent literally fifteen minutes comping it in and you know no one's going to notice cos I don't think you can really tell. That's the beauty of Photoshop man. Can I have a bite of your sandwich?

Props to KimZ! Original is here (then Technik then Sicherheit then complain about Flash.)

City of Toronto: Token Brilliance

What a great way to show that your city has no racial hangups or weird stuff going on!

Thanks to Josh and everyone else who sent this in! More here!

Night At The Museum 2: Monkey Stomping

The Egyptian dude is like totally stomping on the monkey dude's foot. Awesome.

Thanks to Linda! Bigger version here!

E!: Baroquey Dokey

E! explores the outer limits of which parts of a model can be moved where (and not in a good way.)

Thanks to Melinda!

Natural Muscle: Stumped!

Please let's not make pictures like this.

Thanks to Exotic Travel!

Netto: I Could Design This With My Eyes Shut!

At least I think it's Netto. To be frank it feels faintly absurd to pore over a picture trying to determine which Danish supermarket the image came from when the designer who produced the item in question evidently subscribed to a slightly inferior level of attention to detail. Just saying.

Thanks to Martin!

Russian Vogue: Knee, Jerk Response

IN SOVIET RUSSIA, LEGS PHOTOSHOP YOUR PHOTOGRAPHER ON!

Thanks to Alex! Original is here!

Estee Lauder: Ouch

As God is my witness, I swear that my horrifically deformed daughter will one day model for Estee Lauder.

Thanks to Karen! Original is here!

La Senza: It's A Crime To Print It

Just goes to show; home-schooled kids can end up doing graphics work after all.

Thanks to Paul S!

Hugo Boss: All This And No Brains Too

I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.

Thanks to annet in Antwerp!

Daily Fail: The Goggles They Do NOTHING!

In case you are wondering, The Daily Mail is a UK mid-market tabloid, and not, despite all the evidence, your mom playing with Microsoft Paint for the first time.

Thanks to everyone who sent this in! Original is here!

Veja: Lettuce Never Forget!

Translation Time!
Veja: Couch potato
Emagrecer: I am from Greece.
Pode ser uma delicia: This iPod is delicious!

Oh well. Thanks to Eugênio!

Mike Jones: Mind The Gap

Yo! What up! Word! Excel! Check out my totally authentic ride what I actually have!

Thanks to Tyler! Original is here!

Kennedy International: Mobiusbiking!

Number Six in the Suzuki comes from in front to overtake the Yamaha and is clearly now behind and can only needs to stay in front to lose the race. Fantastic.

Thanks to anfa!

Adobe: Wet Floors Are Dangerous

Here's the formula I use to determine how disastrous a piece of work is:

Badness equals quality expected divided by quality delivered.

I mention this because this is one of those infinity-divided-by-zero moments. Thanks to Jethro!